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[经验分享] 原创作文:题材- government funding

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发表于 2014-1-28 | 显示全部楼层
       一篇给力的范文,应该是让考生耳目一新,感受到语言的力道; 一股足以让考官3分钟内信服并给与高分的文字呈现;无论是任务回应,衔接连贯,还是语言弹性和语法精度,都表现出较高的水准。我们的作文之所以过不了6.5分坎,主要还是因为考生练习和学习太少,速度慢,精度低,语言韧性差,常犯些不可饶恕的低级错误,怎么可以说服考官给你一个满意的分数。

       我希望,下面的范例可以给大家一个启发、一个决策。也欢迎同业、童鞋斧正。

Somepeople think that government money should support more important things ratherthan artists. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The scarcity of government subsidy tendsto arouse long-arching concerns of communities over the irrational allocation of public treasure. Some people henceproclaim that the fiscal budget planof governments should prioritizethose more crucial fields, while the funding in arts must be minimized. As faras I am concerned, I will be inclined to deviatingfrom the stance.

Frommy personal perception, I would advocate that authorities are supposed to aggravatetheir investment weight on public services. First and foremost, educationalsector needs strengtheningby further involving financial support to ensure the streamline operation andtuition delivery, including increase of the salary of teaching staffs as wellas the maintenance of the on-campusfacilities. Teachers should be fairlycompensated for their extra workload, while visual aids including overheadprojectors and computers desperately need updating.

Inaddition to these issues, another meltdownmust be health industry where lack of medical personnel has deferred and emasculated the emergencyrescue and treatment to the patients in prolonged queue, and traumatized their families severely.This also includes the senior population, many of whom reside in dilapidated facilities, suffering frombeing malnourished.

Last,governments have the onus to enhancethe level of security against disasters by subsidizing police force and fireservice. The escalating rate of crime and bush fire has posed a threat tocommunity safety in Australia.Their staggering insufficiency of personnel and obsolescence of fire equipment has proven dysfunctional or paralyzed to protect communities.

Nevertheless,I am not saying that arts should be discardedor the value be depreciated. Mypersonal belief is that any artistic forms do inspire generations to stay creative and innovative. It ishence of necessity to encourage and preserve them, which will edify the communities and make peoplemore profound thinkers. Furthermore, sustaining arts, in a sense, meansdemocracy, allowing citizens to express, communicate their ideas, thuspreserving their ethnic identity. Aboriginalpaintings in Australia,for instance, should be conserved due mainly to its cultural identity andcontribution to the communities.

Therefore,groups and organizations of the arts should be eligible to access into thegovernment funding system. However, subsidizing the sections aforementionedshould be scheduled in their fiscal agenda, measuring the scale to be apportioned to each of the stakeholders related to the wellbeingof their people, meanwhile valuing for the money contributed by tax and ratepayers. (393 words)


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 楼主| 发表于 2014-1-28 | 显示全部楼层
learn how to achieve
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 楼主| 发表于 2014-1-28 | 显示全部楼层
这可能是拿高分的标杆。
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